just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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