two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
