I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
