At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
