wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
