you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
