dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
