I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
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