it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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