We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
