a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
