Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
