this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
