Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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