ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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