it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
is wine microwaveable?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
