a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
