yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
