You can't motorboat a personality
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I still have a little drunk in my system
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
