after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
