Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
