I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize