6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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