we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
