After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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