She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
