Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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