Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
