i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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