You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
