playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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