I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
