No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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