you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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