Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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