onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize