If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
