So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
