You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
