For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
