When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
