Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just threw up on my dentist
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
