I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
