We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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