it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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