dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
