I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
