they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I love having hate sex.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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