My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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