Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
