What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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