My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
