My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
