how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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