So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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