Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
