I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
