Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
