Porn is love you can see.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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